wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
