I'm eating all of the evidence.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
