I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
