But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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