def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
