i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
