Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize