God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She said her name was "party"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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