so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize