I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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