This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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