Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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