i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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