just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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