Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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