hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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