Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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