So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
