his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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