Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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