wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I believe in your delicious
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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