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Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch