Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"