I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016