haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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