I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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