dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's not cheating when I paid for it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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