I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
