They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
