ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
