The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
