Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
