Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize