drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
