the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
