Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
