dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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