But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
