so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
