Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
