He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
