I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize