So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
