i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When are your genitals available?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
