Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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