I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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