She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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