when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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