i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.