You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich