you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So... How much of our rent is drug money?