I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
