I am in a vortex of obligation.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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