Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
