i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
