ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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