You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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