i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
