Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
