Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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