i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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