yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
