Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
