If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize