What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
