This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I enjoy the company of your penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
